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2013-05-25 : Kotei- Montreal, QC
2013-05-25 : Kotei- Santiago, Chile
2013-05-25 : Kotei- Szczyrk, Poland
2013-05-25 : Kotei- Barcelona, Spain
2013-05-25 : Kotei - Aldershot, UK
2013-05-25 : Kotei - Denver, CO
2013-05-26 : Kotei- Ottawa, ON
2013-06-01 : Kotei- Albury, Australia
2013-06-08 : Kotei - Austin, TX
2013-06-15 : Kotei- Nuremburg, Germany
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2013-06-15 : Kotei- Reykjavik, Iceland
2013-06-15 : Kotei - Grove City, PA

[Sekkou]

• Coils of Madness, Part 3 by Sekkou
  [May 22, 2013, 09:41:44 PM]
• [Promo] Fusako (Personali... by Kakita Kentei
  [May 22, 2013, 02:06:42 PM]
• [Promo] Renewed Lands (Re... by Kakita Shiro
  [May 22, 2013, 01:40:02 PM]
• GenCon Events by Asahina Shimato
  [May 22, 2013, 10:28:56 AM]
• [Kotei 2013] Santa Clara,... by Kakita Shiro
  [May 22, 2013, 09:08:46 AM]
• COILS OF MADNESS HAIKU CO... by Kakita Kae
  [May 21, 2013, 01:45:47 PM]
• The Current Kotei Standin... by CrimsonEyes
  [May 20, 2013, 04:00:22 PM]
• Writers wanted! by Kakita_Leon
  [May 20, 2013, 10:13:59 AM]
• [Kotei 2013] Aldershot, U... by Doji Kousei
  [May 20, 2013, 06:27:08 AM]
• [CoM] Asukai, the Tireles... by Daidoji Malitor
  [May 19, 2013, 06:51:10 PM]

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[Doji Hatashai]

This past weekend, I had my first WTF moment as a GM, and when it happened the players realized it would be a WTF moment as well.  

A little contextual background:
This is my first attempt at GMing.  My brother, who enjoys the spider clan, really wanted to play in an evil campaign.  I’m not new to the whole “evil campaign,” however I thought that I could circumvent player on player killing by giving them a juicy target, and also by coming outright and saying, “don’t do it.”  It didn’t work.

The group consists of two spiders (My brother who is playing a goju style character, and a first timer who is playing a paragon), a mantis shugenja duelist , a fallen crab, and a fallen scorpion.  So the narrative is simple, they are trying to undermine the Crane’s economic trading interests in a minor clan holding (Oriole Clan).  Essentially the WTF moment came from the following exchange:

The event itself:
The mantis and one of the spider players (paragon) are scouting out the western entrance to the city in an attempt to scout out the patterns of the Crane trade caravans.  Spotting a caravan, they begin to watch it as it passes.  The spider sees a scout come out from the woods to cross the caravan’s pathway and then cut back into the dense woods on the other side of the street.  The paragon notes that there was an exchange of information and decides to pursue the scout.  Fast forward to the scout being knocked unconscious in the middle of the woods, and then the spider and mantis begin debating what to do.  The mantis decides to go and get the crab, to assist interrogating the prisoner and obtain more information.

The spider, left alone with the guy, decides its best to strip him nude and tie him to a tree.  Out of character, many “breeder” jokes began flying about at this point, of course.  The captive remained unconscious through it all.  Suddenly the Mantis comes back to see the nude captive strapped to a tree.  His jaw drops.  The prisoner begins to stir from consciousness, and realizing the predicament he is in, he begins screaming bloody murder.  The crab kicks him in the stomach, and the already very wounded prisoner drops to the “down” wound level.  

The screaming is loud, but the kick silences the prisoner.  The mantis leaves the group heading back to the road, unsure wtf is going on.  The prisoner, when revived again, begins spitting curses and refusing to “cooperate” regarding any investigative attempts.  The paragon, again new to Role playing in general, ties a bandage around the captive’s leg (a tourniquet), and lops off the captive’s leg.  The prisoner screams until he dies.  The mantis, from the road, notices that guards begin heading toward the group.  

Fast forward, three guards killed, the crab unconscious on the ground, the paragon bleeding profusely from many wounds, the mantis unwounded from the conflict, and the remaining guard ran as fast as possible to town.

The mantis, realizing that there would be no way to bring all of them back into the city, cuts his losses and kills the paragon.  Then he finishes the crab off.  Finally he “cleans himself” off in a river and attempts to sneak back in, wherein the remaining spider in the party kills the phoenix off (because he felt that if the phoenix’s story was true, the phoenix should have also died in the conflict).  

So.  Yeah.  This was only our second game. Fun times.. fun times.   Thirty minutes and our group had gone from 5 to 2 players.  Sloppy GMing?  Not so sure.

[Tetsuro]

Don't feel too bad. All evil games, regardless of genre, end like this. It really shouldn't be anyone's first GMing experience.

[WhiteDragon]

I hadn't heard that L5R misadventure yet Spooky, thanks for sharing! Do I know these people that played in your campaign there?

You do know me but you don't, I'm like a whisper on the wind, muhahahahaha

[Togashi Ayame]

To continue the epic story of our failing-player, here's another golden moment from Night of a 1000 Screams.

He re-rolled a Hida Berserker to take the place of his Monk, and we're nearing the end of our investigations.
The group is highly suspicious of a Kuni shugenja NPC, to the point where the Hida Berserker decides to take matters into his own hands... despite the Magistrate's decision to leave it alone due to lack of evidence (read: testimony).

So, the Hida Berserker bursts in through the door and catches the Kuni by surprise from behind, and... does a pitiful amount of damage.
It's the Kuni's turn, who draws his wakizashi, and rolls an insane amount on the damage roll, thus taking down the Hida Berserker. He's not dead, but Out.
The Kuni tosses the Crab brute out on the street to bleed there.

[WhiteDragon]

^That's funny

While trying to think of other stupid things I've done as my bitter lies swordsman (there are a few cause one I was playing him and two it was a 4 year campaign) I remember one of the ones my playgroup still rags on me for is this.

So my GM (Spooky) has gotten my bayushi kind of smitten with a miya gal who had a little chipmunk(or squirrel, i forget which rodent it was). Well this little miya happened to lose the rodent so being the nice guy i am(not that the lechery disadvantange was making him think that he might be able to hit that if he got on her good side ) This is roughly how the exchange went.

Me : I explore her place with her permission.

GM: You don't find anything of note except the fact the window is open.

: Ok I explain it might've escaped that way and I will go look.

GM: ok you go out the window into a garden, you don't find it anywhere in the garden.

: do I see anything else significant

GM: Perception check

: *rolls*

GM:ok you see that there is on window open on the other side of the garden.

:I'll take a peek inside.

GM: the lights are off, and you cant see anything.

: I go in.

GM:When you step into the window you feel something wet on the floor.

: I touch it.

GM: it is a warm and thick liquid.

Rest of the party: LOLZ

: can I smell it?

GM: it smells kind of like rust.

:That's weird

Rest of the party: LOLZ

:Why is everyone thinking this is funny?

: I taste it.

Rest of the party: ROFLS

GM: D:

ok....it tastes like it smells.

rest of the party: LOLERCOPTERS

:ok i'm tired of this, is there a lamp?

GM: you feel around on the floor feeling more of the liquid until you come across a lamp.

: I light it.

GM: You see next to you a headless body of a Usagi samurai. Blood all over the floor....and you.

: D:

Rest of the party:ROFLS

: I alert the guard.

GM:They rush over to see a Bayushi covered in blood and a headless Hare clan in the background.
They draw their swords.

: aw crap.....

[SpookyElectric]

Heh, I remember that session. Everyone else at the table realized you were touching, tasting, and becoming covered in blood... except you.

And as I recall, that was not the first time you'd stumbled across a dead body. I think it became a running gag that if you had separated from the party, you guys were about to discover a murder victim.

: "Your hostess retires for the evening."

  : "I think I'm going to leave the party and go check on her."

   : "AW Silly! SHE'S A GONER!!!"

[Shiba Yoshirou]

rofl brilliant

[SpookyElectric]

Here, I'll share one of my own WTF moments.

Although, I do so proudly, because it was AWESOME.

During the Seven Scions game, my character, a Suzume bushi (whose entire character concept was that she'd missed her life calling and was serving at a station that ill-suited her) named Hejiko made very close friends with a Kakita named Chizu. Chizu was a very unfortunate character that had multiple causes for melancholy, including an injury that had robbed her of her voice (if only temporarily).

My character spent more than one occasion trying to lift her spirits.

Also important: My character was soft-hearted, genuine, and wants only to be of help to others. She's also naive, trusting, and kind of... moe, I guess. Also, I had managed to befriend the entire Crane delegation, so they all at least thought I was tolerable.

So here is the story where I nearly jeapordize those friendships and humiliate myself in silly antics and misunderstandings. =D

To frame the scenario: Chizu is discovered drunk and depressed by my character outside. After a heartwarming talk in private and consoling her as best I could, I take it upon myself to escort her to her room in the Crane Clan quarters of the Kyuden.

Things I do not know:
1) The layout of the Crane rooms
2) Which room is Chizu's
3) Chizu's secret crush on my character (apparently)
4) Just how stupid my character can sometimes be. 

So, with all of that in place, this is what happens.

Good times. I really enjoyed that game.

[Daigotsu Usharo]

Here, I'll share one of my own WTF moments.

Although, I do so proudly, because it was AWESOME.

Hejiko had plenty of awesome "misunderstandings" during that game.  She was quite amusing, and lots of fun to play with. 

[Watanabe Junko]

Not a lengthy explanation on this, but it's for the current campaign I'm in with locals. So we started in August, but my brother and I weren't able to come until the second session. We got there early and were chatting about what'd happened so far (including one of the characters dying from a tonfa blow to the head during an interrogation first session). I'm the sort that'll play most anything, so I asked what the make up was of the "party" so far. Seemed balanced. Then I asked the setting. Supposedly there was a tournament of skills in Sparrow lands, and the second contest was about to start.

Seeing as there was no Sparrow in the party, I decided on a whim they should have a representative in the tournament, so I made one. First session we get lost in the tracking contest, come back to the village finally and find out every Sparrow (and guests) are dead from a plague zombie horde. Day 2; the Last Sparrow.

(ps: Though someone pointed out to my GM that SURELY there were Sparrow not in Sparrow lands when it all went down. He's still sticking with me being the last one though).

[Kakita Kasukaru]

First scenario of my new campaign last month, I have a group of beginners playing the Topaz Championship. I am going easy on them, but two manage to have some spectacular dice rolls:
* the Iuchi shugenja enters the sumo contest. Not really hoping to get any points, mind you. She grabs her Dragon opponent, critical grapple, massive fail from the dragon to get rid of her. I ask her to roll for Strength. Critical again. And one Dragon leaves the ring flying to land in the public...
* the group's Ishiken tries his luck at horse racing. He spectacularly succeeds his first two rolls and is largely ahead. Deciding that it might be the right time to get some points in the competition on some of his weakness, he decides to invest his last void points for the day in winning the race. This actually succeeds (although he is now out of Void points)... until the last finish line. Last horse riding, fumble: 1, 1, 1, 1... Fall. Athletism to not hurt himself too bad: 1, 1, 1, 4. Roll for damage. Coma. Thanks for the Topaz Championship resident Asahina medics.

[SpookyElectric]

Another one, brought to you courtesy of WhiteDragon!

To set the scene, it's the big Tsu Fish Egg "Snipe Hunt" at the end of the Topaz Championship, and all of the PCs have scattered into the swampy marshlands to find these Tsu Fish Eggs. WhiteDragon's character, a fellow named Mirumoto Tanaka, follows the Shosuro courtier who has gone off on his own, accompanied by a Kitsune named Nayoko.

They eventually come to a large pond fed by the Tengu river. As they walk the rim of the pond, a perception check reveals what appears to be a five-foot log traveling towards them on the shoreline. Several of the player share knowing glances, and the two next to me whisper that Tanaka's finally going to get some real combat.

Then, to the astonishment of everyone at the table (save a handful), WhiteDragon announces that he's advancing into the water. Then, just as the Log approached within reaching distance, he says that he's going to jump headfirst into the deeper part of the pond. He is naturally met with a Rokugani Alligator.

That was a fun encounter.

When the thing was finally driven off, after a round or two of bites and gator death-rolls, Tanaka blinks surprised at his companion.

"I've never seen a Swamp Dragon before! Are those common?!"

It was such a hoot at the table, I think they're STILL calling the gators "Swamp Dragons." It'll be forever that way, I'd imagine.




Same session, Iaijutsu duel between the group's most foppish courtier and a too-serious-for-her-own-good Yogo samurai. This is a samurai with dedicated Dueling traits and skills, vs. a courtier who doesn't even have the Iaijutsu skill.

I feel sorry for anyone watching that duel. The Yogo dominates the first part of the duel, netting a bonus to the Focus round. However, the courtier manages to roll high enough that the Yogo's Focus result isn't successful, meaning they're going to have a Kharmic Strike. No matter, the Yogo's TN is too high for the courtier and she's rolling 7k4 before spending any Void to hit him...

This is where the dice decide that they totally hate the Yogo. She rolls five 2's, a 3, a 5, and a 6. After he spent Void to up his Armor TN, she has fallen VERY short of hitting him. For all he is worth, he can't hit the broad side of a barn, so he misses too.

And that was how our foppish courtier shamed the competition's best duelist and forced her to leave in disgrace.    High-fives all around.

[Bitter Lies]

Mmm...I love WTF moments.

A recent campaign I played in was full of them.  We had a very distinct crew, all attending the Mantis Winter Court in a slightly altered timeline from Iweko's first years.

The center of our group, a Kakita Duelist who was Lord Noritoshi's daughter, was tasked to find out why a Mantis Temple had stopped communicating with the other islands.  The group was tagged along with her.

My character, a Bayushi trained Courtier named Shosuro Satoshi, intentionally overheard part of their plan, thus making it impossible to leave him behind.  I was apparently useless, as the 'Pretty Little Asian Boy' courtier that was being sent on a suspected combat mission.  When we arrived, our Tsuruchi Scout came up with a plan to sneak into the temple and gather some intel.  He needed back up.  No one else in the group volunteered for such a lowly task, and as I'd been ordered by Imperial Authority to help, I felt I had no choice.

Now, a bit about my Courtier.  I -was- a courtier.  As much as our players suspected the Sheet that I played with that said courtier was false, they were still wrong.  I just had a very interesting skillset.  Mainly, 3rd Ed's Crafty advantage.  Medicine, Poison, Knives, Benten's Blessing, and Dangerous Beauty, combined with the starting bonus of +2 Awareness made me quite formidable in court and with plenty of little tricks.  He only brought his knives with him, hidden on his person, while we made our infiltration.

As we made our way into the temple, the Tsuruchi was surprised that I managed to stay hidden.  Once inside, however, my fake rank failed me and I was spotted.  Luckily, the Tsuruchi had not.

GM:  A large monk, dressed in white and black sohei robes shouts out to you. "YOU!  What are you doing here!  Freeze!"

Me: (O.O)  *collapse to the floor, bruising my forehead*  "Sohei-sama!  Please forgive a simple peasant!  I have seen the way you all act, the way you live...it is beyond impressive Sohei-sama!  I simply wish to be STRONG like you!"  Blah blah blah Deciet.

GM:  Okay roll Awareness/Deceit.

Me:  *Lotsa Dice, Mostly Kept*  Uuh...three times the TN. 

GM:  *sigh*  He grabs you.  "The Master will determine your fate."  Drags you through the castle, taking you to the leader.

Me:  Im gonna memorize the route and my surroundings.

GM: He tosses you before a very impressive armored samurai.  He's wearing the Mon of the Spider Clan.

Me:  I drop to the floor, giving an appropriate bow to my new lord.

GM:  *blah blah blah evil guy acting intimidating*

Me:  I want him to be convinced that killing me now would be too nice for me. "*Long and tear filled rant about the great mistake I made by coming here.*"  Roll, Victory.

GM:  He kicks you around some, and it hurts, but he spares you.  His men take you to a section of the castle that's been modified into a jail/drunk tank.

Me:  Do I have a window and is it the only one facing out on my wall?

GM: Uh...Yes.

Me:  Just one guard?  They didn't find my knives, did they?

GM: Yep and nope.

Me: "Sohei sama!!  Boats!  Boats on the horizon!  Look look!"  Deceit.

GM:  He angrily throws open the door and looks out the window.

Me: I kill him.  Knife explodes on damage, removing the man's throat.  He dies silently.  I take his robes, dress him in the plain garb I snuck in with, and walk out the front door.  Disguise.


Meanwhile, back at camp, the Tsuruchi gives the group the news that I've been captured.  They all pretty much agree it's better that way, since I'd have likely gotten in the way.

Then I show up, half out of Sohei robes, with a detailed map of the route to the main chambers, a rough estimate of their numbers, and a confirmation that the Spider are involved.

Since then, no one believed me that I wasn't a ninja.